October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, hence a perfect time to remind ourselves about the need to continue to spread the word to create a violence free community, and also help victims regain freedom from their abusers.
This specific post was influenced by a post that I came across on my Facebook timeline, shared by Esther Ijewere, the Editor in Chief of Women of Rubies and the national coordinator of Walk Against Rape, Nigeria.
The post entitled, Chris Attoh and the Entitlement mentality of African Men” by Gabriel Olatunji-Legend reiterated one of the points that I usually make whenever I presented on the subject of domestic violence and its intersection with human trafficking.
I particularly liked a statement, that I have turned into a quote by Gabriel Olatunji-Legend. It stated: “It takes a man that is ready to die for her and a woman that is ready to submit to such a die-hard man” to make a successful marriage.
Unfortunately, Bible quotes and cultural beliefs are used to keep a woman in a domestic violence relationship. The man, as Olatunji-Legend rightfully puts it, feels entitled, forgetting that the woman is equally a human being with a fundamental human right just like him.
You even have the cycle of abuse going from generation to generation where mothers tell their daughters that marriage is like a, “School where you go to, but never graduates from, and where whatever is done to you, either good or bad, must remain a secret that you must not share, even with your own family members, talkless of outsiders.” For better understanding, let me rephrase this in my Yoruba language, “Ile oko, ile eko ni. Ohun ti oju re ba ri ni’be, ko fara mo ni. Eti keji ko gbodo gbo o.”
Starting from the Bible, as quoted by Chris Attoh, it does not only give instruction to the woman but also the man. Unfortunately, Chris forgot to quote the part meant for the man to tell whether he was sincere and did his part as a man has been required to do according to the Bible. You can read the Bible verse in Ephesians 5: 22 & 25:
“22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord….25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;….”King James Version (KJV) Bible Gateway.
As you can read in the scriptural verses above, the Bible gave instructions to both the woman and the man. It is however, surprising that men from some cultures focus only on the “submissive part of the woman” rather than on the “love part of the man and giving of his life for the woman.”
I think that when we read this kinds of statement from a man, there is evidence of violence in the relationship. He has shown control in the way he negotiates in a relationship, rather than working as partners, and giving equal respect in order to have a violence free relationship.
This kinds of stories bring me back the memory lane when I was suffering as a victim of human trafficking and domestic violence. One of the manipulative ways used to keep me silenced was the same phrase that a woman must be submissive to her husband, and I was asked to kneel down and beg when I was the one being abused.
Imprisoned: The Travails of a Trafficked Victim was first published in 2009, and it is still a very relevant text today, eight years after. That is why I have published a second edition that does not alter any of the chapter, but included discussion questions for students, teachers, service providers staff, law enforcement, book clubs, and several other groups, who are interested in educating themselves about the subject of domestic violence and human trafficking, specifically labor trafficking.
You can pre-order your kindle version here.
Thank you for reading. Kindly leave your questions, comments, and suggestions below. Until next time.
Bukola
ALL Made it to an International Best Seller
It’s been about two weeks now, since ALL made it to an international best seller status, when it ranked number one on Amazon.com in four countries, and was in top 20 in at least six countries. In case you are wondering, what ALL is, it is the acronym for my newly released book, “A Living Label: An Inspirational Memoir and Guide.” So far, the book has been downloaded over 1000 times on Amazon.com and has a 5.0 rating in the memoirs and nonfiction category on www.amazon.com.
“A Living Label: An Inspirational Memoir and Guide” is not my first book. In fact, it is my fifth book, but a sequel to my first memoir, Imprisoned: The Travails of a Trafficked Victim. Although, it is not my first published book, it is the first that I have put so much marketing effort into before and after its release. In doing this book, I also used a lot of help. I will always be grateful to all those who wrote pieces of contents in the book, and my editors, who took the time and effort to help me carry my message in a clear and concise manner.
My primary goal with this book is to beam attention on the need for survivors’ economic empowerment, and that is why I have decided to lead the way by donating 100 per cent of the proceeds from this book to help survivors with their education or businesses, starting with 100 survivors.
Why survivor empowerment important
Survivor Empowerment is important because survivors want to move on with their lives. They want to reintegrate back into the community. They want to aspire to contribute their expertise to their various communities and beyond. They want to be seen as regular human beings. They want to be economically independent. However, if survivors cannot take care of their primary needs as a result of financial instability, it will be more challenging to fully contribute their expertise as experiential value. As subject matter experts, they can also be financially independent.
Now that ALL Made it to an International Best Seller…. What You Can Do
If you have downloaded your copy for free during the promotional period on Amazon.com or have purchased a copy, thank you so much. Please, take a minute to write a review on Amazon here. If you are yet to do so, kindly show your support for survivor empowerment by donating $21.99 today for a copy a from The Enitan Story or go ahead to buy a copy from Amazon or Lulu.
Calling on Survivors Wishing to Write Their Books
Are you a survivor wishing t write your own book? You can make your wish a reality. Get in touch and let’s talk about getting your message to the people are are going to benefit from the valuable information your book will provide.
You are not a survivor, but you also want to do your book, register today for the Empowerment and Hope Summit coming up in February and start taking advantage of all the value I have put together for people like you, including access to a step-by-step guide on how to get your book on #1 Amazon Best Seller list, which will be available to registrants at no cost.
Thanks for reading. I hope to talk to you again through my blogs. If you have questions, comments or suggestions, please, send me a note – fill out the contact form. I want to hear from you. You can also get my recent posts by signing up to receive updates.
Bye for now, until next time.
PS: Join me every Monday on YouTube for Monday Motivation with Bukola.
An international presentation in video
This is an international presentation in video request that I received some weeks ago via Facebook. My sincere gratitude goes to the End-Time Helpers Ministry in Lagos, Nigeria for contacting me to give a presentation at their one day seminar today.
I have presented at several churches over the years about human trafficking, but this is my first presentation at a church event where I had to actually open the Bible for my illustration.
My topic focused on “Overcoming Financial and Academic Challenges” because I was told that the event was for the youth, although, there were various ago groups present at the event.
Thanks to my sister and coordinator in Nigeria, Anuoluwapo Ogunmola, she represented me at the event. My dress was also designed by her through her company, House of Fancy.
Overcoming Financial and Academic Challenges
I shared three ways to “Overcoming Financial and Academic Challenges, using the story of Isaac in Genesis 26: 1 – 35. The three ways are:
- Maintain a silent spirit: According to Norman Vincent Peale, practicing 15 minutes of silence daily can help you get direction in your challenges or answers to your questions.
- Look for opportunities: Challenges are avenues for creative opportunities. Rather than feeling sad about a challenges, pay attention to the opportunity that might be available in that challenge.
- Don’t give up: I read a quote while recording my weekly motivational show on YouTube called, Monday Motivation with Bukola. I read a quote from Brainy Quotes that says, “our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time,” (Thomas E. Edison). From, Edison’s quote, you will realize that giving up is a great challenge to human kind. So, to overcome any type of challenge, whether it is financial, academic, or any other challenge for that matter, the solution is not to give up.
You can watch the video below.
Remember, the month of October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Reach out for help or help someone to reach out for help today. Call the national domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).
If you haven’t already done so, join me to support survivor empowerment with my book, A Living Label today. Buy your copy here. Together, we can empower survivors of human trafficking, domestic violence, sexual assault, and Female Genital Mutilation (FMG).
Thanks for reading. I hope to talk to you again through my blogs. If you have questions, comments or suggestions, please, send me a note – fill out the contact form. I want to hear from you. You can also get my recent posts by signing up to receive updates.
Bye for now, until next time.
No internet for 24 hours
No internet for 24 hours? I can’t believe it. First, when I found out that there would be no internet service for a week, all kinds of thoughts about how to perform my work raced through my mind. I was working in my home office where I had converted my sewing table to computer desk, because, I had converted the computer desk to a sewing machine holder, when my son came into the room to tell me that the internet was not working.
Hearing my son’s complain, I went to the internet box to troubleshoot it with no luck. While I was doing this, my nine-year old waited impatiently to get back on the computer to play his online game on YouTube. After trying with no luck, I decided to pick up one of the Century link’s bill for the customer service number. The technician who spoke with me learned about all the steps that I had taken to troubleshoot the device to no avail. He said, I will have to order a technician to come down to your apartment to have it fixed. Meanwhile, I have to tell you that there is an $85 charge if the problem is inside.” I asked, “$85? Inside, where?” Then he explained that since the problem could not be fixed from his end, he would need to order the service of one of their technicians to come down to fix it. He continued by saying that if the problem is found outside of the building, the company will bare the cost, but if the technician have to fix the problem inside the wiring in my apartment, then I will have to cough out $85.
No internet for 24 hours: What do I do?
At that point, I didn’t care about the cost, but for internet to be available to enable do my work. But before he hung up, I asked if I would be charged for the days that without internet service and he referred me to customer service after the restoration of the internet.
Another blow that accompanied the $85 possible charge was the fact that there would be no internet for a week. “A week?” That did not go down well with me as I was curious to know why it had to take a week for it to be fixed. The technician tried again to reach one of their road technicians to find out if there was any earlier time open. The news was not better. He said that there was no opening; however, he noted that the technicians have escalated the matter to make it a high priority should in case someone cancel’s then they would come to me.
Many things were disrupted. I couldn’t watch an online video that I was supposed to watch ahead of a meeting. Perhaps, it didn’t make any difference because I had gone for a doctor’s appointment and whatever medicine I was given made me sleepy anyway, so I spent about two hours in the afternoon sleeping helplessly.
My nine year old did not find it funny. When I woke up from sleep, I had to run down to the office late in the evening to work. I had an online show coming on in few days and needed to set it up. I went to the office to quickly set up and began to prepare myself mentally to wake up on Monday at 4:00 AM to head over to the office to be able to do my two Live shows online at 5:00 AM and 5:30 AM respectively.
The lack of internet at home was kind of helpful. I made use of Hootsuite, a social media scheduler that I have had for over five year but rarely use. I used it to schedule the upcoming show, Monday Motivation with Bukola, to promote it on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. I also went to the office earlier than I usually would this morning. I created a launch schedule for my upcoming book, A Living Label and did three Live broadcasts – one on Periscope, and two on Facebook, to invite people to join the Insiders. As an Insider, you get to be the first to read chapters from the book. You will also have the opportunity to ask me questions, plus, this is a great opportunity for you, if you plan to write your own book. You can learn from the steps that I am taking to write and publish my book for yours. Click here to become an Insider today. A Living Label is a sequel to Imprisoned: The Travails of a Trafficked Victim, my first memoir. You can get your copy here.
Miraculously, this afternoon, my son, whom I saw wrote on his computer, “No WiFi is boring” came to announce the internet restoration. I was happy too, as this will reduce the stress to get to the office before having access to the internet for work.
What experience have you had with no internet? Share it below.
Thanks for reading. I hope to talk to you again through my blogs. If you have questions, comments or suggestions, please, send me a note – fill out the contact form. I want to hear from you. You can also get my recent posts by signing up to receive updates.
Bye for now, until next time.
Elevate your life with Nkechi Ajaeroh
Elevate your life with Nkechi Ajaeroh on the next edition of Monday Motivation with Bukola. Join us Live on Google Hangouts on Air at 5:30 AM CST.
Nkechi Ajaeroh, known as Kechi, is the founder of AfriscopeTV and a Bachelor’s degree holder in in Education, soon-to-be Masters in Public Health. She is a writer, speaker, social media enthusiast, and humanitarian with a heart of gold.
Kechi’s AfriscopeTV is an online Pan-African community that provides live-stream support to Africans and African businesses online. Currently, Kechi is supporting girls’ education in Nigeria with a donation of $1.00 from every sold copy of her book, entitled, Elevate Your Life with the Power of Positive Perception: What I Now Know For Sure, to help poor deprived African girls pay for school.
Her Amazon number 1 selling title in the Kindle Store, in the Management subcategory, centers on elevation and getting to the next level. The educator is determined to help as many people as possible to step into their purpose and greatness. Kechi’s message of elevation is very dear to heart as she often says, “Your desire should be to live in your greatness and purpose without doubt and question. And, there is no better time to start than now.”
Elevate your life with Nkechi Ajaeroh
Want to elevate your life? Grab a copy of Kechi’s number one selling book, Elevate Your Life with the Power of Positive Perception: What I Now Know For Sure
Connect with Nkechi Ajaeroh online
Website: http://peristart.com/
Twitter: @honestlykechi
Periscope: @honestlykechi
Facebook: @honestlykechi
To join the broadcast Live, click the video below.
You can also join via:
To be featured as a guest or sponsor on Monday Motivation with Bukola send an email to info@bukolaoriola.com.
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