Blog Archives - Bukola Oriola

Back to Chapter 7: Exploitation and Rebellion

May 24, 2025 By Bukola Oriola Leave a Comment

I can’t believe it’s been nine years since I published A Living Label: An Inspirational Memoir & Guide. How time flies. A child born nine years ago is now in fourth grade. Wow!

What surprises me, though, is that one of the key issues I addressed in the book is still a problem today: the re-exploitation of individuals with lived experience for their stories, time, and expertise.

Let’s go back to the analogy of that nine-year-old. Can you imagine feeding a nine-year-old nothing but rice cereal? Exactly. That’s what it feels like when we expect lived experience experts to sustain themselves on symbolic gestures or token payments.

In Chapter 7 of A Living Label, I documented some of the challenges I faced as an individual with lived experience. My expertise was used to raise funds or enhance programs, yet I struggled silently to survive and raise a child. Sadly, this is not just my story. It is the reality for many others who have survived human trafficking, domestic violence, or other traumatic experiences, and who now share their lived expertise to help improve systems and services.

Even today, I find myself having to educate individuals and organizations about the importance of fair compensation for subject matter experts with lived experience. It’s disheartening to see people who claim to support survivor voices, promote trauma-informed practices, or ethically engage experts, still make the mistake of requesting their input without adequate pay.

Some people ride on survivors’ backs to enrich themselves and claim they are collaborating with them. Others receive large grants or speaking fees and toss survivors a token amount – just enough to make it look like they’re being paid.

Worse still, we see offers of gift cards or under-the-table cash payments. This is often done to avoid formal compensation that reflects the value of the lived experience professional’s contribution. These approaches are not ethical, and they certainly are not survivor-centered.

Let me ask: How would you feel if someone offered to pay you in a gift card for your time and expertise? Or gave you cash that barely covers your transportation or meal, while they profit or earn accolades? I’m still trying to figure out how to pay rent, electricity, phone, car note, and insurance with a gift card. If you know how, please enlighten me.

This is not just about money. It is about dignity, equity, and ethical engagement. If you are serious about working with individuals with lived experience, you must do it with respect, intention, and accountability. Ask questions. Learn. Offer contracts. Pay invoices on time.

To help bridge this gap in awareness, The Enitan Story, in collaboration with subject matter experts with lived experience, has developed a free training module titled Engaging SMEs with Lived Experience: Module 4. It is available on the organization’s website and is designed to help nonprofits, government agencies, and private institutions ethically engage individuals with lived experience in a mutually beneficial way.

I understand that many people have good intentions. But good intentions do not cancel out harmful practices. When the result is re-exploitation, it doesn’t matter what the original motive was.

One day, I may write about those who technically “pay” lived experience experts, but in ways that are traumatizing, condescending, or triggering. Because yes, that happens too. Some payments come with emotional whips.

I will stop here for now. Until next time.

Harnessing the Power of Your Pain

June 14, 2024 By Bukola Oriola

Honorable Bukola Oriola training healthcare professionals on how to recognize labor trafficking

When we think about pain, the first thing that comes to mind is usually negative. However, I have heard people say phrases like “growing pains” or “positive pain.” While pain can cause discomfort at the time of the experience, careful consideration of what resulted from the pain or what was learned during it could lead to solutions that benefit future generations.

As horrific as human trafficking or domestic violence is, surviving such experiences presents an opportunity to turn that pain into gain for ourselves and others, both within and outside our communities. We can do this in various ways, such as creating programs, training professionals to recognize and collaborate with people who have lived through these experiences in a mutually beneficial manner.

Another benefit of these experiences is that they can help us discover hidden talents within ourselves, such as painting, writing, braiding, singing, praying, creating products, and so on. In fact, the list is endless.

I have personally used my painful experiences to write books, create products such as Ewa Hair & Skincare, train professionals, found a nonprofit organization, consult for governments at international, national, state, and local levels, build capacity for others with or without lived experiences to become entrepreneurs, and, most importantly, pray. Prayer is the lifeline that keeps me going daily through thick and thin. Jesus Christ is my source. I am grateful that He daily loads me with benefits.

Human Trafficking 101: A Presentation by Bukola Oriola

June 10, 2019 By Bukola Oriola

Bukola Oriola, Member, U.S. Advisory Council on Human Trafficking & Founder, The Enitan Story

Learning Objectives

Know two types of human trafficking – Labor & Sex.
Know how to identify victims.
Know community resources for referrals in MN.

Community Resources

Labor Trafficking Direct Service Providers

International Institute of Minnesota (Statewide) – Provides statewide training and intensive case management. Saint Paul, MN, Main Line: 651-647-0191
The Advocates for Human Rights (Statewide) – Provides legal representation for immigrants and one-on-one needs assessment, resource identification, referrals, and case management for the duration of the client’s case. Minneapolis, MN, Main Line: 612-341-2971
The Enitan Story (Twin Cities) – Improves life skills and increased support for survivors through training programs, peer support groups, crisis case management services, and referrals to community resources. Fridley, MN, Contact person: Bukola Oriola 763-273-6624
Southwest Crisis Center (Brown, Cottonwood, Jackson, Martin, Nobles, Pipestone, Rock, and Watonwan counties) – Provides advocacy for personal, medical, and criminal and civil situations. Provides life skills, safety planning, safe housing options, connections to local resources, financial assistance, basic living needs, and more. Worthington, MN, Main Line: 507-376-4311
Standpoint (Statewide) – Provides direct legal representation to youth victims of labor trafficking. Provides training for attorneys and legal staff on the use of T Visas, referrals to recruited and trained pro bono attorneys, and technical assistance for attorneys throughout Minnesota. Minneapolis, MN, Main Line: 612-343-9842 or 800-313-2666

Sex Trafficking

Visit MDH website at: https://www.health.state.mn.us/commun…
Additional resources, including Tribal Nations Providers: https://www.health.state.mn.us/commun…

Contact Bukola for training for your organization or group

Book Bukola at https://bukolaoriola.com/book-bukola-… Have questions: Send email to info@buolaoriola.com

She looked disappointed….

April 22, 2019 By Bukola Oriola

She looked disappointed.

I must admit, I really enjoyed seeing that disappointed face. I have a right to feel so, just like she had a right to look disappointed.

You must be thinking… “Bukola! What has fufu or pounded yam and melon vegetable soup (the image I used for this post) got to do with disappointment?”

Like you, I wondered why someone will be interested in me telling my tragic story on an early morning, rather than learning about the work I do to advocate for others, and how she can learn some skills to help identify or prevent others from becoming victims of human trafficking.

“Why didn’t she take the time to learn about me before that day,” I thought to myself. I even told her that my experiences of victimization was documented in my book, but her facial expression told me she was not interested in reading any book from a “victim” because I didn’t think that she even saw me as a survivor, let alone a subject matter expert. I had the strange feeling that she disregarded me as an immigrant too, as if an immigrant is less human than a non immigrant in the U.S. Of course, I have accent. And, oh! “Your accent is strong” remembering how some people tell me why they can’t understand what I was saying. So, why would or should she be interested in a book authored by a “victim” of human trafficking with a “strong accent.”

How did this happen? Well, let me back up a little without starting from the beginning. We sat to discuss after I had presented to her group because she and her group were interested in the anti-trafficking work. Well, as we began, she said, “I don’t know you” looking at me as if I should start telling her the gory details of my traumatic past.

My name and title…~wink~

I have dealt with enough people like her in the little past 10 years that I have been doing this advocacy work. I looked at her and said, well, “My name is Bukola Oriola and I am a member of the U.S. Advisory Council on Human Trafficking. I am also the founder of The Enitan Story, a nonprofit organization that advocates for victims and empowers survivors of human trafficking and domestic violence.” As I continued, explaining some of the work of my organization, I reached into my bag and pulled out a business card with my name and title as a member of the U.S. Advisory Council on Human Trafficking. Trust me, the card looks prestigious too. ~wink~ ~wink~

I saw the disappointment on her face, and I must confess, I loved it.

My point ….

Well, I hope that you get my point with this little post here. Please, when you meet a survivor, you don’t ask them directly or indirectly to start telling you their traumatic experiences. They have done more than enough favor to you if they have documented such experience in a book form. Get the book to read, and you can come with questions from the book. That way, you are respecting them and not acting as if you are better off a human being than them. It also shows that you genuinely want to learn rather than starting a pity party. Survivors do not want your pity; Survivors want your respect.

By the way, the 10th Anniversary of Imprisoned book comes up this weekend at Northtown Mall, Blaine, Minnesota. If you are in the Twin Cities area, stop by any time between Friday, April 26 and Sunday, April 28. The mall opens at 10:00 a.m. daily. I will also be featuring 11 other authors and their books. There are various categories from inspiration, to hobbies, to self help, and children’s books.

Get autographed copy of Imprisoned book

In case you are not in the area and are not able to come, but are interested in my traumatic story, you can get an autographed copy of Imprisoned: The Travails of a Trafficked Victim at http://bit.ly/AutographedBukola. After reading, trust me, no question is off limit. Bring them on, and I will do my best to answer every single question you have from my book.

Do you know that I am not just a published author, but a publisher, book publishing consultant, and coach for other indie authors? Check out my Author’s Page on Amazon. That way, you can see some other titles that I have been privileged to publish. In addition, you will get notified once I have a new release, like I Declare: Gratitude that just released today. Get your copy on kindle or paperback today.

Until next time.

PS: I want to hear from you. Send me your questions, comments or suggestions. Thank you.

A Survivor’s Perspective of Trauma-Informed

January 8, 2018 By Bukola Oriola

The more I work on the issue of human trafficking, read articles, interact with fellow survivors or allies in the movement, the more I hear the phrase, ‘trauma-informed.” As a survivor who has experienced trauma, I have to both learn how to deal with my own trauma when I am triggered, and also how to deal with other survivors who might be triggered.

The phrase seemed to be thrown around a lot. I decided to do a google search on, “What is trauma informed?” Among the search results were “six key principles” published by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). According to the organization, they are:

Safety
Trustworthiness and Transparency
Peer support
Collaboration and mutuality
Empowerment, voice and choice
Cultural, Historical, and Gender Issues

As a survivor, I agree with the principles, however, I believe that trust is the vehicle that will convey the rest of the principles effectively. When there is no trust, there cannot be safety. First, it is the breach of trust that led a person to become a victim, and as a survivor, it takes trust to help him or her work with fellow peers and allies without fear or doubt in a collaborative manner. Trust is also what will help with the understanding of culture, as culture is more than an ethnic identity, but also formal and informal work or social environment.

It is very important to carry a survivor along, even when the outcome is not favorable. It helps to reduce triggers. When you carry a survivor along in any matter that you are dealing with the survivor on, it will be easy for the survivor to believe and trust you or your motives.

The fifth principle listed by SAMHSA stated, “Empowerment, voice and choice.” As much as I really like that point, I think that many just know it in writing but do not practice it. To practice this point, you have to avoid asking a survivor to share his or her story. I have said this several times. Allow the survivor to choose whether he or she wants to share parts of his or her experiences. In addition, it is helpful to avoid asking survivors to coerce fellow survivors to share their stories. I have seen this happen many times. Many survivors have been hurt as a result, and when a survivor gets hurt, which could be triggering, then it will be hard for that survivor to trust you.

And, many times, not just sometimes, you have to really be patient with a survivor. Don’t feel tired to repeat yourself or rephrase what you mean for a survivor to understand and be on the same page with you. The survivor just need assurance that your intentions are right. You can even identify phrases that could help you help a survivor to understand your point of view in a matter that might not be so favorable. I mentioned one of such in my opening remarks at the just concluded U.S. Advisory Council on Human Trafficking Second Annual Report Launch, where I cited an example of how the Department of State Trafficking In Persons office staff members work in a trauma informed manner with the Council to gain the Council’s trust by using a phrase such as, “It is the government.”

Furthermore, I shared explicitly how you can work in an empowering way with survivors. Learn more about some of my suggestions in my book entitled, A Living Label: An Inspirational memoir and Guide. If you want an autographed copy, get it here.

Thank you for reading, until next time.

Bukola