Bukola Oriola

Author| Advocate| Mentor| Entrepreneur

She looked disappointed….

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She looked disappointed.

I must admit, I really enjoyed seeing that disappointed face. I have a right to feel so, just like she had a right to look disappointed.

You must be thinking… “Bukola! What has fufu or pounded yam and melon vegetable soup (the image I used for this post) got to do with disappointment?”

Like you, I wondered why someone will be interested in me telling my tragic story on an early morning, rather than learning about the work I do to advocate for others, and how she can learn some skills to help identify or prevent others from becoming victims of human trafficking.

“Why didn’t she take the time to learn about me before that day,” I thought to myself. I even told her that my experiences of victimization was documented in my book, but her facial expression told me she was not interested in reading any book from a “victim” because I didn’t think that she even saw me as a survivor, let alone a subject matter expert. I had the strange feeling that she disregarded me as an immigrant too, as if an immigrant is less human than a non immigrant in the U.S. Of course, I have accent. And, oh! “Your accent is strong” remembering how some people tell me why they can’t understand what I was saying. So, why would or should she be interested in a book authored by a “victim” of human trafficking with a “strong accent.”

How did this happen? Well, let me back up a little without starting from the beginning. We sat to discuss after I had presented to her group because she and her group were interested in the anti-trafficking work. Well, as we began, she said, “I don’t know you” looking at me as if I should start telling her the gory details of my traumatic past.

My name and title…~wink~

I have dealt with enough people like her in the little past 10 years that I have been doing this advocacy work. I looked at her and said, well, “My name is Bukola Oriola and I am a member of the U.S. Advisory Council on Human Trafficking. I am also the founder of The Enitan Story, a nonprofit organization that advocates for victims and empowers survivors of human trafficking and domestic violence.” As I continued, explaining some of the work of my organization, I reached into my bag and pulled out a business card with my name and title as a member of the U.S. Advisory Council on Human Trafficking. Trust me, the card looks prestigious too. ~wink~ ~wink~

I saw the disappointment on her face, and I must confess, I loved it.

My point ….

Well, I hope that you get my point with this little post here. Please, when you meet a survivor, you don’t ask them directly or indirectly to start telling you their traumatic experiences. They have done more than enough favor to you if they have documented such experience in a book form. Get the book to read, and you can come with questions from the book. That way, you are respecting them and not acting as if you are better off a human being than them. It also shows that you genuinely want to learn rather than starting a pity party. Survivors do not want your pity; Survivors want your respect.

By the way, the 10th Anniversary of Imprisoned book comes up this weekend at Northtown Mall, Blaine, Minnesota. If you are in the Twin Cities area, stop by any time between Friday, April 26 and Sunday, April 28. The mall opens at 10:00 a.m. daily. I will also be featuring 11 other authors and their books. There are various categories from inspiration, to hobbies, to self help, and children’s books.

Get autographed copy of Imprisoned book

In case you are not in the area and are not able to come, but are interested in my traumatic story, you can get an autographed copy of Imprisoned: The Travails of a Trafficked Victim at http://bit.ly/AutographedBukola. After reading, trust me, no question is off limit. Bring them on, and I will do my best to answer every single question you have from my book.

Do you know that I am not just a published author, but a publisher, book publishing consultant, and coach for other indie authors? Check out my Author’s Page on Amazon. That way, you can see some other titles that I have been privileged to publish. In addition, you will get notified once I have a new release, like I Declare: Gratitude that just released today. Get your copy on kindle or paperback today.

Until next time.

PS: I want to hear from you. Send me your questions, comments or suggestions. Thank you.

A Survivor’s Perspective of Trauma-Informed

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The more I work on the issue of human trafficking, read articles, interact with fellow survivors or allies in the movement, the more I hear the phrase, ‘trauma-informed.” As a survivor who has experienced trauma, I have to both learn how to deal with my own trauma when I am triggered, and also how to deal with other survivors who might be triggered.

The phrase seemed to be thrown around a lot.  I decided to do a google search on, “What is trauma informed?” Among the search results were “six key principles” published by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). According to the organization, they are:

  1. Safety
  2. Trustworthiness and Transparency
  3. Peer support
  4. Collaboration and mutuality
  5. Empowerment, voice and choice
  6. Cultural, Historical, and Gender Issues

As a survivor, I agree with the principles, however, I believe that trust is the vehicle that will convey the rest of the principles effectively. When there is no trust, there cannot be safety. First, it is the breach of trust that led a person to become a victim, and as a survivor, it takes trust to help him or her work with fellow peers and allies without fear or doubt in a collaborative manner. Trust is also what will help with the understanding of culture, as culture is more than an ethnic identity, but also formal and informal work or social environment.

It is very important to carry a survivor along, even when the outcome is not favorable. It helps to reduce triggers. When you carry a survivor along in any matter that you are dealing with the survivor on, it will be easy for the survivor to believe and trust you or your motives.

The fifth principle listed by SAMHSA stated, “Empowerment, voice and choice.” As much as I really like that point, I think that many just know it in writing but do not practice it. To practice this point, you have to avoid asking a survivor to share his or her story. I have said this several times. Allow the survivor to choose whether he or she wants to share parts of his or her experiences. In addition, it is helpful to avoid asking survivors to coerce fellow survivors to share their stories. I have seen this happen many times. Many survivors have been hurt as a result, and when a survivor gets hurt, which could be triggering, then it will be hard for that survivor to trust you.

And, many times, not just sometimes, you have to really be patient with a survivor. Don’t feel tired to repeat yourself or rephrase what you mean for a survivor to understand and be on the same page with you. The survivor just need assurance that your intentions are right. You can even identify phrases that could help you help a survivor to understand your point of view in a matter that might not be so favorable. I mentioned one of such in my opening remarks at the just concluded U.S. Advisory Council on Human Trafficking Second Annual Report Launch, where I cited an example of how the Department of State Trafficking In Persons office staff members work in a trauma informed manner with the Council to gain the Council’s trust by using a phrase such as, “It is the government.”

Furthermore, I shared explicitly how you can work in an empowering way with survivors. Learn more about some of my suggestions in my book entitled, A Living Label: An Inspirational memoir and Guide. If you want an autographed copy, get it here.

Thank you for reading, until next time.

Bukola

 

Umbrella: Intercept the Trafficker Campaign

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Posing with district presidents and conference officers of the UMW in Minnesota
Posing with district presidents and conference officers of the UMW in Minnesota

I never thought about this song until I was about to start writing. “What song?” You may ask. It is Rihanna’s Umbrella song. In the lyrics she said, “You can stand under my umbrella.” Umbrella is used for protection during rain or shine. It is a handy tool for unfriendly weather.

I found out few days ago that the United Methodist Women are taking action to protect victims of human trafficking in the United States by using umbrella. They called it “You Intercept the Traffickers Photo Campaign” by opening an umbrella.

For a few years now, it has become public secret that there is usually sex trafficking, a form of human trafficking going on during the national game – Super Bowl. In fact, there are several reports about the FBI rescuing girls from sex trafficking during Super Bowl.  A Fox News Report on February 4, 2014 revealed that the FBI rescued 16 children who are as young as 13 years old during the games. The title of the report, Missing children rescued from Super Bowl sex trade in FBI sting, informed the reader that some of the rescued children have been reported missing by their families.





In anticipation of the possibility of some children falling prey of sex trafficking, the United Methodist Women are asking its members to open their umbrellas to raise awareness about the issue as the Super Bowl will take place at the Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara, California on Sunday, February 5. According to an Alert issued by the women’s group, “The Super Bowl ranks second only to Thanksgiving as the day on which Americans consume the most food, and some of those who are trafficked will be serving food in restaurants or at catered parties related to the Super Bowl.”

They expressed the fear that some of them will be victims of labor trafficking who “…will clean hotel rooms, wash dishes, tidy nails…, deliver dry cleaning, or wash windows,” while others “will be trafficked as sex workers for escort services or in “gentlemen’s” clubs.”

Using sports language, they named the yellow dotted umbrella graphic End Zone, noting that the umbrella defense was named after the football defensive play created by the New York Giants coach, Steve Owen which “enabled the Giants to shut out the then formidable Cleveland Browns.”

The women encouraged their 800,000 members to take group pictures holding umbrellas with letters spelling out, “We are United Methodist Women opening umbrellas to intercept human trafficking.”  The women were asked to share their pictures with #UMWumbrellas on social media and also send such to the conference communicators.

I learned about the umbrella campaign when I attended the Planning Session of the Executive Conference Committee of the UMW in Minnesota. I was there at Coon Rapids United Methodist Church to talk about my new appointment as a member of the U.S. Advisory Council on Human Trafficking and my willingness to keep the line of communication open to listen to the public about the needs and how to improve on services for victims and survivors of human trafficking.

The meeting comprised of district presidents and conference officers of the UMW in Minnesota. I am looking forward to working more with these women to end human trafficking – sex and labor in our communities.

Open an umbrella and post it with #UMWumbrellas to join United Methodist Women to intercept human trafficking by showing survivors that you care.

Thanks for reading. I hope to talk to you again through my blogs. If you have questions, comments or suggestions, please, send me a note – fill out the contact form. I want to hear from you. You can also get my recent posts by signing up to receive updates.
Bye for now, until next time.

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PS: Join The Enitan Story students campaign against human trafficking. Subscribe below.

Get a copy of the international best selling book by Bukola Oriola, A Living Label: An Inspirational Memoir and Guide.   Book Description: A Living Label is a memoir that documents some of the struggles and triumphs of the author as a survivor of labor trafficking and domestic violence in the U.S. Bukola Oriola’s goal is to inspire hope in other survivors that they can turn their lives around positively, regardless of what difficulty they might have passed through. She also provides practical solutions to the government, service providers, NGOs, and the general public on how to effectively engage with survivors, to value them as the subject matter experts they are. As someone who has dedicated her life to empowering other survivors, she has decided to contribute the proceeds from the book sales to survivors’ education or their businesses, starting with 100 survivors in the United States, Nigeria and Kenya. She believes that survivors want to be independent and contribute to their communities, and she wants to help survivors achieve this dream. Learn more from the inspiring author, Book Bukola now!
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