human trafficking Archives

She looked disappointed….

April 22, 2019 By Bukola Oriola

She looked disappointed.

I must admit, I really enjoyed seeing that disappointed face. I have a right to feel so, just like she had a right to look disappointed.

You must be thinking… “Bukola! What has fufu or pounded yam and melon vegetable soup (the image I used for this post) got to do with disappointment?”

Like you, I wondered why someone will be interested in me telling my tragic story on an early morning, rather than learning about the work I do to advocate for others, and how she can learn some skills to help identify or prevent others from becoming victims of human trafficking.

“Why didn’t she take the time to learn about me before that day,” I thought to myself. I even told her that my experiences of victimization was documented in my book, but her facial expression told me she was not interested in reading any book from a “victim” because I didn’t think that she even saw me as a survivor, let alone a subject matter expert. I had the strange feeling that she disregarded me as an immigrant too, as if an immigrant is less human than a non immigrant in the U.S. Of course, I have accent. And, oh! “Your accent is strong” remembering how some people tell me why they can’t understand what I was saying. So, why would or should she be interested in a book authored by a “victim” of human trafficking with a “strong accent.”

How did this happen? Well, let me back up a little without starting from the beginning. We sat to discuss after I had presented to her group because she and her group were interested in the anti-trafficking work. Well, as we began, she said, “I don’t know you” looking at me as if I should start telling her the gory details of my traumatic past.

My name and title…~wink~

I have dealt with enough people like her in the little past 10 years that I have been doing this advocacy work. I looked at her and said, well, “My name is Bukola Oriola and I am a member of the U.S. Advisory Council on Human Trafficking. I am also the founder of The Enitan Story, a nonprofit organization that advocates for victims and empowers survivors of human trafficking and domestic violence.” As I continued, explaining some of the work of my organization, I reached into my bag and pulled out a business card with my name and title as a member of the U.S. Advisory Council on Human Trafficking. Trust me, the card looks prestigious too. ~wink~ ~wink~

I saw the disappointment on her face, and I must confess, I loved it.

My point ….

Well, I hope that you get my point with this little post here. Please, when you meet a survivor, you don’t ask them directly or indirectly to start telling you their traumatic experiences. They have done more than enough favor to you if they have documented such experience in a book form. Get the book to read, and you can come with questions from the book. That way, you are respecting them and not acting as if you are better off a human being than them. It also shows that you genuinely want to learn rather than starting a pity party. Survivors do not want your pity; Survivors want your respect.

By the way, the 10th Anniversary of Imprisoned book comes up this weekend at Northtown Mall, Blaine, Minnesota. If you are in the Twin Cities area, stop by any time between Friday, April 26 and Sunday, April 28. The mall opens at 10:00 a.m. daily. I will also be featuring 11 other authors and their books. There are various categories from inspiration, to hobbies, to self help, and children’s books.

Get autographed copy of Imprisoned book

In case you are not in the area and are not able to come, but are interested in my traumatic story, you can get an autographed copy of Imprisoned: The Travails of a Trafficked Victim at http://bit.ly/AutographedBukola. After reading, trust me, no question is off limit. Bring them on, and I will do my best to answer every single question you have from my book.

Do you know that I am not just a published author, but a publisher, book publishing consultant, and coach for other indie authors? Check out my Author’s Page on Amazon. That way, you can see some other titles that I have been privileged to publish. In addition, you will get notified once I have a new release, like I Declare: Gratitude that just released today. Get your copy on kindle or paperback today.

Until next time.

PS: I want to hear from you. Send me your questions, comments or suggestions. Thank you.

How abusers use religion and culture to manipulate

October 5, 2017 By Bukola Oriola

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, hence a perfect time to remind ourselves about the need to continue to spread the word to create a violence free community, and also help victims regain freedom from their abusers.

This specific post was influenced by a post that I came across on my Facebook timeline, shared by Esther Ijewere, the Editor in Chief of Women of Rubies and the national coordinator of Walk Against Rape, Nigeria.

The post entitled, Chris Attoh and the Entitlement mentality of African Men” by Gabriel Olatunji-Legend reiterated one of the points that I usually make whenever I presented on the subject of domestic violence and its intersection with human trafficking.

I particularly liked a statement, that I have turned into a quote by Gabriel Olatunji-Legend. It stated: “It takes a man that is ready to die for her and a woman that is ready to submit to such a die-hard man” to make a successful marriage.

Unfortunately, Bible quotes and cultural beliefs are used to keep a woman in a domestic violence relationship. The man, as Olatunji-Legend rightfully puts it, feels entitled, forgetting that the woman is equally a human being with a fundamental human right just like him.

You even have the cycle of abuse going from generation to generation where mothers tell their daughters that marriage is like a, “School where you go to, but never graduates from, and where whatever is done to you, either good or bad, must remain a secret that you must not share, even with your own family members, talkless of outsiders.” For better understanding, let me rephrase this in my Yoruba language, “Ile oko, ile eko ni. Ohun ti oju re ba ri ni’be, ko fara mo ni. Eti keji ko gbodo gbo o.”

Starting from the Bible, as quoted by Chris Attoh, it does not only give instruction to the woman but also the man. Unfortunately, Chris forgot to quote the part meant for the man to tell whether he was sincere and did his part as a man has been required to do according to the Bible. You can read the Bible verse in Ephesians 5: 22 & 25:

“²²Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord….²⁵Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;….”King James Version (KJV) Bible Gateway.

As you can read in the scriptural verses above, the Bible gave instructions to both the woman and the man. It is however, surprising that men from some cultures focus only on the “submissive part of the woman” rather than on the “love part of the man and giving of his life for the woman.”

I think that when we read this kinds of statement from a man, there is evidence of violence in the relationship. He has shown control in the way he negotiates in a relationship, rather than working as partners, and giving equal respect in order to have a violence free relationship.

This kinds of stories bring me back the memory lane when I was suffering as a victim of human trafficking and domestic violence. One of the manipulative ways used to keep me silenced was the same phrase that a woman must be submissive to her husband, and I was asked to kneel down and beg when I was the one being abused.

Imprisoned: The Travails of a Trafficked Victim was first published in 2009, and it is still a very relevant text today, eight years after. That is why I have published a second edition that does not alter any of the chapter, but included discussion questions for students, teachers, service providers staff, law enforcement, book clubs, and several other groups, who are interested in educating themselves about the subject of domestic violence and human trafficking, specifically labor trafficking.

You can pre-order your kindle version here.

Thank you for reading. Kindly leave your questions, comments, and suggestions below. Until next time.

Bukola

How to prevent human trafficking among immigrants

June 25, 2016 By Bukola Oriola

In this post, I will focus on how to prevent human trafficking among immigrants in the United States. In a simple definition from my book, Imprisoned: The Travails of a Trafficked Victim, “Human trafficking is when a person is here in the United States as a result of fraud, force or coercion for the purpose of being subjected to involuntary servitude, forced labor, debt bondage, slavery, or commercial sex exploitation.”

I am writing this post in response to a reader’s question from one of my previous posts. Human trafficking as a result of fraud can take various forms. Some of the forms are promise of marriage, education, employment, or a better life. There are immigrants in colleges across the United States that are vulnerable or are already victims of human trafficking as a result of fraud. For example, some people have applied for student visa and are supposed to be in college but are not because they were not allowed to get enrolled by their traffickers, whom are known to them as friends, neighbors from home country, or family members. There are others who have been brought under the pretense of going to middle or high school but are kept as maid in the homes of their traffickers.

There are other category of victims who are married to their traffickers. Many in this category are working while their traffickers, whom they know as their spouses are garnishing their income or denying them access to the income that they have earned from work. Some are trafficked by people they know as their employers, where they are also working, but are not being paid, or are told that their income is being used to pay off the debt they owed for coming to the United States. Some are made to have sex with multiple partners while the money received went to the trafficker.

It takes continuous education and community awareness to prevent anyone from becoming a victim of human trafficking. One of the tactics of traffickers, whether it is the case of one victim or more, is isolation. Victims are isolated from known people like friends and families. Worse still, if a family member is the trafficker, the victim is made to believe that other family members or friends who may be helpful is a bad influence. It is very difficult to know that someone is a trafficker when the person is familiar. However, for a victim in the United States, there are various resources available to support a victim. The national human trafficking resource center has a hotline. The number is 1-888-373-7888. This is a number that I will recommend to an immigrant victim who doesn’t know who to contact or how to get help. My second recommendation is the nonprofit organization that I founded called The Enitan Story. If a victim has access to the computer, the email for The Enitan Story is info@enitan.org or call the number 763-433-9454.

I hope I have been able to answer this question in simplicity.

Thanks for reading. I hope to talk to you again through my blogs. If you have questions, comments or suggestions, please, send me a note – fill out the contact form. I want to hear from you. You can also get my recent posts by signing up to receive updates.

Wait a minute! Are you aware of my upcoming book. You can still join the Insiders by clicking here. As an Insider, you get to be the first to read the book before it’s available to the public. You will also be joining me to empower survivors of human trafficking, domestic violence, sexual assault, and female genital mutilation.
Bye for now, until next time.