Bukola Oriola

Author| Advocate| Mentor| Entrepreneur

The giraffe and a turtle

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Giraffe and turtle

The giraffe and a turtle is a story that I am drawing from personal experience. I am writing this story with the hope of helping someone, especially a victim of human trafficking or domestic violence.

In many instances, victims do not speak out because of the fear of being blamed or judged. When I decided to put my face to my story, I knew that I was going to be blamed and judged. Considering the community that I came from, it is even worse to speak up. There is so much more that I want to say, but I will reserve for my upcoming book, A Living Label. Become an Insider if you want to read more directly from the book before it launches in the fall.

However, I defied the opposition. I took a step that many will not take. And, I took the shame for many who have gone through similar experience but are not willing to declare publicly because of stigma. In fact, stigma is only one part of the agony that a survivor will have to live with. Subtle threats, unspoken threats, and false accusations are a few of other dilemma that a survivor like me live with in my community. Sometimes, I wonder whether I can call certain people around me friends or family members as a result of insensitive comments and ignorance.

Few days ago, a friend encouraged me with a YouTube video from Bishop T.D. Jakes. In the video, Bishop Jakes used the analogy of the turtle and the giraffe to provide encouragement. I must confess that the video was timely. I was encouraged and even used it as a topic in a virtual support group that I host on Facebook yesterday morning.

I have listened to the message by watching the video several times. I also found shorter versions of the video, which I watched. I thought that I could encourage someone else with this message. Hence, the reason for this article.

As a way of paying it forward, I will like to encourage you today, if you feel blamed and accused unjustly. Just like Bishop Jakes suggested, perceive of yourself as a giraffe and your accusers as the turtle. The giraffe eats on the trees while the turtle eats on the floor. See yourself rising above your tragedy. Seek for help among people that will provide solace to you.

Interesting facts about the giraffe and turtle

I did a Google search on giraffe and turtle. I stumbled upon interesting facts about the giraffe. In fact, I learned that the giraffe is the tallest mammal on earth. More so, a baby giraffe is taller than an adult human being.

My findings became more fascinating when I learned that a baby giraffe can run very fast only 10 hours after birth. The turtle on the other hand has been around for over 200 million years, however, it can neither run as fast as the giraffe nor grow taller than a human being.

Bishop Jake’s video was his own personal experience with accusers. Without giving away the story, I will like to share the video below.

If you have an experience or comment you want to share, kindly share it below.

Thanks for reading. I hope to talk to you again through my blogs. If you have questions, comments or suggestions, please, send me a note – fill out the contact form. I want to hear from you. You can also get my recent posts by signing up to receive updates.

Bye for now, until next time.

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How to prevent human trafficking among immigrants

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who is a trafficker 2

In this post, I will focus on how to prevent human trafficking among immigrants in the United States. In a simple definition from my book, Imprisoned: The Travails of a Trafficked Victim, “Human trafficking is when a person is here in the United States as a result of fraud, force or coercion for the purpose of being subjected to involuntary servitude, forced labor, debt bondage, slavery, or commercial sex exploitation.”

I am writing this post in response to a reader’s question from one of my previous posts. Human trafficking as a result of fraud can take various forms. Some of the forms are promise of marriage, education, employment, or a better life. There are immigrants in colleges across the United States that are vulnerable or are already victims of human trafficking as a result of fraud. For example, some people have applied for student visa and are supposed to be in college but are not because they were not allowed to get enrolled by their traffickers, whom are known to them as friends, neighbors from home country, or family members. There are others who have been brought under the pretense of going to middle or high school but are kept as maid in the homes of their traffickers.

There are other category of victims who are married to their traffickers. Many in this category are working while their traffickers, whom they know as their spouses are garnishing their income or denying them access to the income that they have earned from work. Some are trafficked by people they know as their employers, where they are also working, but are not being paid, or are told that their income is being used to pay off the debt they owed for coming to the United States. Some are made to have sex with multiple partners while the money received went to the trafficker.

It takes continuous education and community awareness to prevent anyone from becoming a victim of human trafficking. One of the tactics of traffickers, whether it is the case of one victim or more, is isolation. Victims are isolated from known people like friends and families. Worse still, if a family member is the trafficker, the victim is made to believe that other family members or friends who may be helpful is a bad influence. It is very difficult to know that someone is a trafficker when the person is familiar. However, for a victim in the United States, there are various resources available to support a victim. The national human trafficking resource center has a hotline. The number is 1-888-373-7888. This is a number that I will recommend to an immigrant victim who doesn’t know who to contact or how to get help. My second recommendation is the nonprofit organization that I founded called The Enitan Story. If a victim has access to the computer, the email for The Enitan Story is info@enitan.org or call the number 763-433-9454.

I hope I have been able to answer this question in simplicity.

Thanks for reading. I hope to talk to you again through my blogs. If you have questions, comments or suggestions, please, send me a note – fill out the contact form. I want to hear from you. You can also get my recent posts by signing up to receive updates.

Wait a minute! Are you aware of my upcoming book. You can still join the Insiders by clicking here. As an Insider, you get to be the first to read the book before it’s available to the public. You will also be joining me to empower survivors of human trafficking, domestic violence, sexual assault, and female genital mutilation.
Bye for now, until next time.

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A Living Label Book: An Update for the Insiders

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I made several calls and sent emails to various corporate organizations, in both the U.S. and Nigeria, but always hit a dead end. (1)

As I write, I have progressed on my upcoming book, A Living Label. I am writing this post as an update of how far I have gone with the book. Several things have happened. I had promised to share the details of how I am working on this book with my followers and readers like you. And, if you are new to the Insider’s club, you are welcome to join by clicking here.

A Living Label Book: An Update for the Insiders

Since the last email I sent out to my Insiders, I have written additional chapters and have had two professional editors work on the manuscript. One of them actually did not just read the book, but also offered copy-editing service. I opted for her free offer in a Facebook group. You can check her out here. She charges $3 per page for editing and $4 per page for copy editing. In case you are not in and will like to become an Insider, click here. Now, I am at chapter 10, however, chapter seven and ten are not fully written.

I stopped in the middle of chapter seven to plan for a trip to Washington DC and Virginia. During the trip, I wrote chapters eight to ten while on board Delta Airline to Ronald Regan International Airport.

I understand that some of you were inspired to join the Insiders’ Club to write your own book. Aside from writing an update on how far I have gone on the book, I also want to share the steps that I have taken. This will be useful for you if you are working on your book. I will like to thank some of you who have responded with your critique on my book. I also have critiqued the manuscript of one of the Insider who shared her work with me. So, as you can see, I am taking this journey in partnership with you all.

The Steps you can take if you have not

  1. Set up social media pages – Facebook, Periscope, Twitter, Instagram, etc. Begin to talk about your upcoming book on these social media platforms. Tell people why you are writing the book and what you hope to achieve when the book is published. In my case, for example, I am writing my book to empower women who have gone through domestic violence, human trafficking, sexual assault, and female genital mutilation. Proceeds from the book will be used to help individual survivors in various parts of the world, starting from the U.S., Nigeria, and Kenya.
  2. Set up a mailing list service – MailerLite, MailChimp, Aweber, Infusion, ConvertKit, and so on. A mailing list service will help you capture people’s email addresses. These people will be your VIP members.  You can reserve the best of your sneak peek to them by sharing more with them are you continue to write. You can ask people to sign up to join the list by providing a link to sign up on your website or social media platforms in case you do not have a website. However, I encourage you to set up a website, even it if is through google platform like the Blogger. You can do that by getting a copy of my book, Quit Your Day Job: Five Steps to Turn Your Passion to Money Using Social Media and Blogging here. You can also download it here for free if you are a Kindle Unlimited member. The good thing with Google Blogger is the fact that you don’t need a lot of money to start a professionally looking website. See a Blogger site that I helped to build called Wedding Trends. Mind you, for my mailing services, I am using MailerLite and will recommend it for a starter. It has features that other free account like MailChimp does not have. For example, you can set up an auto-responder to your list so that when someone signs up you can send email the person automatically. Also, to manage your time, you can schedule email to send out to your subscribers. They also provide customer service with free account, which you cannot get with MailChimp. I have both, but I prefer MailerLite.
  3. Use Fiverr: Fiverr is an online platform where you can hire someone from anywhere around the world, but not for $5. However, you can get your work done for a reasonable amount of money. I went there to search for book editors and after contacting two or three people on the site, I settled for one. I was satisfied with her editing job. Her user name on Fiverr is Florabrown and you can hire her here. While I was working on this manuscript, I was also doing researches on how to work get my book edited without frustration. I watched a YouTube video, where I learned that it was a better idea to send sample editing of about 5,000 words, rather than my whole manuscript to an editor. According to the YouTube video, the sample editing will help me know if the editor will deliver within the specified time. Florabrown blew me away with her timeliness and professionalism. I paid her $25 to have my sample editing done. That means that I can rehire her and still have my book ready by the deadline.
  4. Hire a Book Designer: Another person that I had hired and I hope to rehire on Fiverr was my book designer. The Fiverr username is Bookdesign. I hired Bookdesign and was also impressed at the first job which cost $20 because it was for a paperback book entitled, Imprisoned: The Travails of a Trafficked Victim. The picture on the cover has a metallic feel to to the touch. So, I will recommend this seller on Fiverr, as I will rehire bookdesign for the cover of A Living Label. With Bookdesign, you can get the cover of your e-book done for $5. Click here to hire Bookdesign.

I will stop here for now. If you have any question, kindly let me know in the comment below or join the Insider’s here to send me direct questions.

 

 

Happy Memorial Day!

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Happy Memorial Day! It’s another Memorial Day and I want to thank all the military men who have sacrificed their lives for our safety.

I will also like to invite you to join me to support women empowerment by signing up to become an Insider today via this link https://app.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/d5n1v0. By becoming an Insider, you walk with me as write my upcoming memoir, A Living label. It is going to chronicle my journey as a survivor – challenges and success. And, you plan to write your own book, this will be an opportunity for you to learn from my journey.

I already have a book cover designer and photographer. I am also currently working with a book editor who has finished work on the sample editing that I submitted to her. Together, we can empower women around the world.

A Living label is planned to launch this fall.

If you are a Mary Kay Consultant of Avon Representative, I call on you to join me to support women worldwide.

If you are a corporate organization and willing to help women around the world, contact me today via info@bukolaoriola.com.

If you are a blogger or writer that will like to support women who have gone through human trafficking, domestic violence, sexual assault, or female genital mutilation, please, contact me.

Desire to write your own book as a Veteran

If you desire to write your own book, this is an opportunity to learn from my experience. During this Memorial Day, you can write about your life as a veteran or a veteran family. There are so many stories that we hear or watch on TV in movies, you can write your own story too. Writing is an art, and a therapeutic art. Some therapists use art to help their clients. We all have stories to share. Join me to share your own victory story too. Become an Insider.



Thoughts on Mother’s Day

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Happy (1)

It’s another Mother’s Day today, May 8, 2016. I woke up to Mother’s Day text messages from friends on my phone. I browsed through Facebook posts and the social media platform was flooded with accolades and praises for mothers. Some users even changed their page’s pictures to that of their mother’s.

In church today, I found out that all women were given flowers to celebrate Mother’s Day. Women play vital role in the community whether they have biological children or not. They continue to serve selflessly and give as much of themselves as they could. I read a post by one of the Minnesota Senators last night on Facebook. Senator Amy Klobuchar posted on her timeline, “I wanted to share this research that shows Minnesota has the second-highest rate of working moms in the nation, with more than 80 percent of moms with kids under age 18 in the workforce. Policies that help women succeed — including equal pay and family leave — aren’t just important for them. They’re important for our entire economy.”

Mothers are important in the economic development of the community, yet it is sad to note that women are the most vulnerable to domestic violence and human trafficking. I was in Washington DC over a week and half ago when a mother of four was killed by her husband in Ramsey, Minnesota. The 30 year old mother, Courtney volunteered at the Anoka Ramsey Athletic Association, according to news reports. A friend also told me that the family was well know to the community because of her participation in sports with the kids but suspected nothing.

While still in shock of the Ramsey incident, another story of a Nigerian mother was trending on Facebook. For the past two days, there has been several posts of Lekan Shobande beating his wife, a mother of two to death and taking to his heels. That is another mother who has met her untimely death from the hands of the man that claimed to love her.

Although, Alexandra House is a known battered women shelter in Anoka County, there are so many reasons why Coutney might not have been able to summon the courage to go to the shelter. And for the mother of two in Nigeria, similar reasons might be keeping her in the abusive marriage. Sometimes, victims of domestic violence think that things will change positively or get better; other times, victims are too embarrassed to speak up because of community shame. To help many victims who are still enduring the agony of domestic violence, we need to cultivate a culture that says, “It’s okay to reach out for help without being judgmental.” Family members, friends, neighbors, and even strangers blame a woman when she walks away from her marriage. Some even preach the Bible. Please, we cannot continue to sacrifice the lives of mothers and leave their children being passed around from family members to friends when their mothers could have been there to care for them.

We have to change our cultural perspective by walking consciously about not being judgmental. Mothers and fathers encourage their children to stay in abusive relationship because they do not want their friends to mock them about being irresponsible parents because their children divorced their spouses on the grounds of abuse. I have had an abused woman told me her mother wanted her to stay and I have had the father of an another abused mother told me to prevail over his daughter to stay with her abusive husband because of “our culture.”

We do not want to continue to lose mothers to domestic violence or human trafficking. Please, take a stand today to walk consciously to say no to domestic violence and show genuine support for an abused woman.

Thanks for reading. I hope to talk to you again through my blogs. If you have questions, comments or suggestions, please, send me a note – fill out the contact form. I want to hear from you. You can also get my recent posts by signing up to receive updates.

Bye for now, until next time.

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Featured image from Pro Flowers: Proflowwers.com

Get a copy of the international best selling book by Bukola Oriola, A Living Label: An Inspirational Memoir and Guide.   Book Description: A Living Label is a memoir that documents some of the struggles and triumphs of the author as a survivor of labor trafficking and domestic violence in the U.S. Bukola Oriola’s goal is to inspire hope in other survivors that they can turn their lives around positively, regardless of what difficulty they might have passed through. She also provides practical solutions to the government, service providers, NGOs, and the general public on how to effectively engage with survivors, to value them as the subject matter experts they are. As someone who has dedicated her life to empowering other survivors, she has decided to contribute the proceeds from the book sales to survivors’ education or their businesses, starting with 100 survivors in the United States, Nigeria and Kenya. She believes that survivors want to be independent and contribute to their communities, and she wants to help survivors achieve this dream. Learn more from the inspiring author, Book Bukola now!
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